We are proud to present a new regular written comedy satire series, The Universe: World of Mystery written by Travis Vogt. This is a reprinted article written when Travis originally started  this series. He has agreed to pick this series back up and present it on NWComedyNetwork.com. We look forward to more articles.

The Penis: More Than Just a Pretty Face?

Of all the love affairs that man has had over the course of his 17,000 years on this planet, only one has been exactly like his love affair with the penis.

The human penis, known to many as the primary sexual/urinal reproductive organ of the human male (or Malenicus Splinchinus), has long been used by practitioners of the human culture as an image of prosperousness, virility, longevity, solidity and vein-coveredness. It has been the subject of countless books, television shows and even television movies. It was worshiped by the Ancient Sumerians, the Ancient Mayans and about six or seven modern Canadians. It has even been widely speculated by a minority of theoreticians that the Christian Cross is nothing more than a large penis and a small penis nailed together.

But while we have many legends and anecdotes about the human penis, few people have ever shown much interest in the scientific biology of the penis. Most people think of the penis as a spectral or non-corporeal entity, while the truth is that the penis is almost entirely made of regular old organic, human biological material.

The following chart serves as a powerful reminder that the human penis consists of many different parts and sections:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

There are many myths that constantly abound about the human penis. It has miraculous medicinal uses. It is as malleable as aluminum. It has been around nearly as long as human beings themselves. It is capable of robbing banks. It can bend spoons. Less than half of these are actually true.

For those willing to live in the clear-thinking oasis, it is always best to distance oneself from the fantastical legends about the penis. We must always bear in mind that the penis is not magical. It is not the miracle wrought in flesh that we were all taught about in middle-school. It is merely a normal organ that human males possess. And, this is important to note, human males would not be able to dominate the world with such benevolent perfection without it.

About the Author

Travis Vogt is a stand-up comedian, one half of the Stranger Genius Award-nominated sketch/filmmaking duo The Entertainment Show and co-creator of “Steel of Fire Warriors” and “Adventure Buddies”. He also graduated from a genuine State University and is able to dress himself almost every morning.”